Since 2021, I’ve labeled each year on the whiteboard in my office.
It started as a simple way to set an intention. Last year’s title? The Year to Face Your Fears. And I truly did my best to meet every situation with courage.
One example: I took my family hiking on a trail I had never explored before. It involved descending a steep hill in a zigzag pattern and hopping over a river—something that would have paralyzed me with fear in the past. I would’ve been terrified of the height or the idea of floating downstream. But my children were my anchor. Anytime something scary came up, I pretended not to be afraid so they would feel brave enough to try. I didn’t want them to grow up afraid of everything like I had been taught to be.
When the trail went cold, we panicked a little. Thankfully, we ran into another family and together we climbed up a steep embankment. It was terrifying, but I did my best to stay calm. (Which was probably not very convincing!) We eventually made it back to the path. My 5-year-old was furious with me after that hike—and boy, did she let me have it! To this day, she still reminds me about it with the sass only a small child can muster.
In May 2022—my year of healing—I started volunteering as a Guardian ad Litem. I took on my first case, but quickly realized I wasn’t mentally or emotionally strong enough to continue. After losing my Nanny in December 2021, I’d tried to redirect my caretaking energy into helping someone else, but the emotional toll was too high. Still, I gained valuable insight into the challenges within child services and the layers of red tape that often block real protection.
Then came 2023—my year of growth. It started after my wedding anniversary in May, when I turned my phone off for the first time in… I honestly don’t even know how long. It felt amazing. Not long after, I quit smoking cigarettes. I won’t say the phone detox caused that shift, but sitting with myself, undistracted, helped me realize I no longer needed the crutches I had been leaning on.
I started watching videos and listening to music that brought me peace and fed my mind a steady stream of joy—something I’d never done before. I felt revitalized, like a beam of light had entered my soul. Suddenly, I could see.
I started asking myself deeper questions. Why was I working for people who didn’t value me? Why was I spending my life as someone else’s cog in the machine? I realized I wasn’t alone—others were waking up to the same things. It was humbling and inspiring to finally begin the journey of becoming myself.
And then I asked the big one: Is this really all life is? Work yourself to death for people who don’t care, just to survive? I knew there had to be more. I wanted love. I wanted freedom. And I was lucky—my family dynamic gave me the support to break free from the 9-to-5 and choose a different life.
I remember the exact day I was finally free. I left notes around my desk and the office for my coworkers to find—messages of love, gratitude, and tutorials for whoever took over my job. I wanted them to know I cared, even though I was moving on.
August 2023 was… intense. My husband and I began therapy, and I dug deeper into my spiritual side. I believed—I knew—that if I invested in myself, something amazing would happen. I would feel whole for the first time in my life. That everything had unfolded exactly as it needed to.
And then, shockingly, I lost 40 pounds. The lifestyle change—from corporate chaos to being present at home—reduced so much of the stress that wasn’t even mine to carry. I still deal with stress, sure, but it’s different now. It’s mine to manage, not someone else’s to shoulder. I get to focus on my family and my health, and it has made a world of difference. I’m no longer sitting at a desk all day. I started drinking hot tea constantly, creating a small ritual of peace. I still have a ways to go, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
Now it’s 2024—my year of gain.
And while I didn’t gain what I expected, I’ve gained so much more: perspective, clarity, and a true sense of who I am. I’ve learned how to care for my health and watched my marriage and parenting skills evolve. I know what I want. I know what makes me happy. And I’ve reclaimed my voice—the greatest gift of all.
This journey isn’t over, not even close. But it’s time to choose a new intention for 2025.
And I can’t wait to discover what it will be.
I’m ready to jump into this new year—feet first.
